What to do if you've had a coercive sexual experience such as rape or attempted rape and continue to be troubled by feelings and thoughts about it.

These experiences are more common that you might think and although the most frequent scenario is that of a male perpetrator and female victim, males are also raped and same sex rapes do occur. Unfortunately our current data is limited to women as victims.

A survey of 638 women done on the WSU campus in 1995 showed that 14.6% of the women had sex with a male even though they did not want to because they felt that the male was too aroused to stop. 4.7% had sex because of emotional pressure from the male. 10.8% reported being coerced into kissing or fondling by physical force and 7.5% had unwanted, unplanned sex with a male while intoxicated and found out afterwards! Others were coerced into sexual acts by threats of bodily harm or actual physical force. Some of these experiences cannot be legally defined as rape. Others meet the legal definition. But all can cause troubling thoughts, feelings, and symptoms that can last for a long time.

The troubling thoughts, feelings, and symptoms that can occur as a result of coercive sexual experiences (not just rape) include:

Coming to terms with the results of rape or other coercive sexual experiences can take time and a lot of work! The work of getting through the negative thoughts, feelings, and other symptoms involves talk, and thought, and action. This work may involve:

Although some survivors of rape or other exploitive sexual experiences find that friends, involved professionals, and family are very supportive and appropriate, others have found that not everyone that they share their story with is supportive. Sometimes one of the toughest parts of integrating and healing after a coercive sexual experience is dealing with the lack of support, disbelief, and sometimes even, hostility form others when the survivor attempts to talk about the experience or take action against the perpetrator. These unsupportive individuals may include, amazingly enough, friends, family members, romantic partners, and members of the community.

One of the greatest benefits of sharing a sexually assaultive experience with other survivors is sharing and working through this "re-victimizing" experience with others who have experienced the same shocking reactions from others. Why do some people react this way? Its a question that has been discussed a lot, especially by survivors! Whatever the reason, its hard on people who've been victimized and not believed, and sometimes must be explored and examined in depth during the recovery process.

Don't be misled into thinking that working through a coercive sexual experience will be easy, fast, or that there's a formula that you can follow! It could take months or years, there's often some emotional pain involved, and each survivor must find his or her own, unique path to integration and healing. "Going through the motions" won't work! Going to a counselor or group and not being fully involved, participatory, and committed to your own special work probably won't get you where you want to be. You must - with support - discover, explore, and uncover the specific things that work for you - and do them!

If you're a sexual assault survivor who wants help integrating and resolving the experience, consider individual or group counseling in an atmosphere where you'll be believed and supported. You've got a lot of hard work to do! Start your work among supporters! See our resource list.

How WSU Counseling Services Can Help

WSU Counseling Services provides confidential counseling that treats victims with dignity and respects their decisions. Here is how we can be of assistance to victims of rape and sexual assault:

We will talk to the victim on the telephone or in person to provide support and information. We will let the victim know about all the steps that she or he may want to take to respond to the assault. This includes accessing medical, counseling, & advocacy services. We will respect all decisions that the victim makes.
When a victim arrives at the hospital, we are present as part of the treatment team to provide counseling, support, and information. The victim is free to accept or refuse our services.

If the victim decides to have a medical examination or a forensic examination (called a "rape kit"), we are available to be present during the exam if the victim desires.

We can help the victim file an anonymous report, or make a report to the Police Department or the Office of Student Conduct.

We will help the victim make arrangements to be safe.

We will stay in contact with the victim and provide follow-up counseling.

For those who seek our help anywhere from days or months after the incident, we are available for the following services:

We offer ongoing individual & group counseling to address the emotional aftereffects of sexual assault.

When the victim is having difficulty performing academically, we can communicate with faculty to negotiate deadlines for exams and papers or to arrange an incomplete.

In the event that a victim feels she or he is unable to complete an academic semester, we will help the victim make arrangements with the registrar, financial aid, faculty, and residence halls. If the victim returns to her home community, we will also help make a referral to a mental health professional so the victim can continue counseling.

The aftereffects of a sexual assault can be profound. Counseling has been shown to be effective in helping victims recover. We are here to help.